Continue to go on...

The holiday weekend was yet another reminder that someone is missing, not that everyday isn't a reminder but is much more apparent at family gatherings. The morning of the fourth I had some anxiety about the get together but knew time with family you can't get back. People want to see us and I need to remember life does go on.... as hard as it is to admit it, I have to go on... We have to go on. It was nice to get out, even though I felt like I had a black cloud over me I did find myself having fun, smiling and feeling somewhat at peace.

This week I have had work off. Jeff and I have kept busy with looking at reception sites and looking into getting a different vehicle. It has been so nice to spend quality time with my "husband" and do normal things again. I am so blessed to have Jeff on this journey with me.

I have been thinking how short Deaken's life was and how short our lives are. I know that someday I will be with Deaken again, some days I wish it was sooner than later. While here on earth and being what I have been through, I believe everyday is a blessing and to not take it for granted. I know someday it will be easier to do everyday tasks and I will find a way to cope. There are good days and bad days and I can imagine it may be like this forever. I want nothing more than to hold Deaken again, but until then I am grateful for the people and things I do have in my life.