I obviously have some time on my hands this morning so I thought I would share a little about Jeff and I since it is Valentine's day ;)
Jeff and I met in 8th grade, I was actually hanging out with a good friend of his when I realized how cute he was! When you are 14 years old you don't really do the dating thing it's like you hang out with friends and you are labeled boyfriend/girlfriend kinda thing (Silly I know) Jeff asked me to be his girlfriend Sept. 9, 1999 (9/9/99 strange!) We were together for 11 months and went our separate ways going into high school, new school called for all new friends. We spent 2 years apart for many reasons, but I think we both knew we cared for each other. In that time we both dated other people but when we would run into each other that feeling was always there. Our senior year in high school was when we decided enough of this being apart and we have been inseparable since then.
Jeff is my rock, he knows me inside and out. We understand each other for the most part and are still learning. We have the same goals and are on the same page with what we want out of life. I have to give all the credit to our beautiful son Deaken. He was the one that truly taught us about love and life. Before we found out about Deaken, Jeff and I were not sure about our future together to be honest. Yes, we love each other very much but at that time before Deaken we were on a different page in life, Deaken brought us on the same page and I am forever grateful. I love that I can be myself with Jeff and he doesn't judge because he is just as stranger or stranger! I am looking forward to April 30th and celebrating "us" with friends and family.
Today Jeff and I Cheers and Celebrate our 11 years of friendship, 8 years together and a little over a year of marriage! We love our crazy and out of order life! The best part is we have each other on this journey....
Monday, February 14, 2011
Forever Changed....
The past week February 7-14 was Congenital Heart Defect Awareness Week. How fitting to end CHD week on Valentine's Day! I have some awesome friends and family that have helped to raise awareness with me, Thank You all. I want to shine the spotlight on my cousin Chelsey, she has been such a support to Jeff and I. This past week all her commission earned from her sales with scentsy will go to The Chloe Duyck Memorial Fund in memory of Deaken! She is such a thoughtful person and always finding ways to raise money for CHD and donating what she can. I love you Chelsey very much and so honored to have you as a little cousin :)
I often wonder and worry about Jeff, Wondering if he is grieving at all? and worry that he holds it in.... I know we all grieve differently and I have to remember some guys are more sensitive than others. I saw a change in him last weekend that was a sign for me that he is grieving, he remembers and he does have feelings! He often mentions he wishes we lived closer to friends and feels so left out and distant....His friends are on a total different page or chapter for that matter! Jeff had planned last Saturday to go hang out with friends, he left around 5pm and was calling by 8pm to come home....He missed his girls (me and Maize) What??? I am thinking, this is what you are always missing out on and you want to come home after 3 hours??? My only explanation for this is he is feeling how I do when I go hang out. We are forever changed by all that has happened. We like to be together and "safe" at home. I know this may sound like we are secluding ourselves, we do hang out with others but larger groups are hard without each other. I also think that us being "safe" right now is what we have to do to get by.
One year is approaching fast, I should be saying I can't believe I will have a 1 year old and instead I say or think I should have a 1 year old. To follow the birth date is another dreaded date, 1 year since one of the worst days in my life. How will I make it through these next few months? I know I will, it is going to be hard. What keeps me going is I know I will see Deaken again someday and everyday brings me closer.
I often wonder and worry about Jeff, Wondering if he is grieving at all? and worry that he holds it in.... I know we all grieve differently and I have to remember some guys are more sensitive than others. I saw a change in him last weekend that was a sign for me that he is grieving, he remembers and he does have feelings! He often mentions he wishes we lived closer to friends and feels so left out and distant....His friends are on a total different page or chapter for that matter! Jeff had planned last Saturday to go hang out with friends, he left around 5pm and was calling by 8pm to come home....He missed his girls (me and Maize) What??? I am thinking, this is what you are always missing out on and you want to come home after 3 hours??? My only explanation for this is he is feeling how I do when I go hang out. We are forever changed by all that has happened. We like to be together and "safe" at home. I know this may sound like we are secluding ourselves, we do hang out with others but larger groups are hard without each other. I also think that us being "safe" right now is what we have to do to get by.
One year is approaching fast, I should be saying I can't believe I will have a 1 year old and instead I say or think I should have a 1 year old. To follow the birth date is another dreaded date, 1 year since one of the worst days in my life. How will I make it through these next few months? I know I will, it is going to be hard. What keeps me going is I know I will see Deaken again someday and everyday brings me closer.
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