Baby Steps....

This morning I am taking some time for myself.  Jeff is golfing and I got a chance to sleep in as late as I wanted without any interruptions!

  Life has been crazy with many things on my mind.  The big move is nearing as we prepare to pack up our life here and build a new place to make memories.  I am having so many mixed feelings, one day I can't wait to get out of here and another I am feeling scared and sad to leave.  We never brought Deaken home, but we imagined having him here and feel him here.  When it comes time to pack up the rest of his room (crib) I think it is best that I'm not here, kind of a out of sight out of mind.

Other than having much anxiety of the upcoming move I have been getting by.  There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of Deaken and feel the heaviness in my throat and on my heart, but my mind just hasn't let me go there. Maybe a good thing, maybe a bad thing.....

  I have been babying myself a bit on the 12TH and 17TH and if it landed on a work day I would take it off. Believe it or not I worked yesterday and plan on working Wednesday.  I woke up with that extra heaviness, but pushed through and made it through the work day.  I know this may sound silly, but I am taking the baby steps I need to take.