Thanksgiving.....

Today is a day of Thanks....  I have been dreading the holiday and would much rather stay home with my grief., I am trying to think of the things that are going right in my life vs. the negative things.  I am thankful for my health and for the wonderful people in my life. 

A very large black cloud arrived yesterday over me that I am struggling to get away from.  The tears seem never ending, my body is so heavy along with my heart and I am feeling not the best about myself.  Since Deaken has passed I have had the worst memory, but seem to remember every little detail of last year.  I am wondering if a day will come when I can think of all these little things and not feel so much pain.  I do have days when I can talk about Deaken and his journey, but other days when I it hurts too much.

The holidays are reminders for anyone who has loss a family member or friend.  For those that have lost someone who had been around the grief is of all the memories with that person.  With my grief it is of what  we are missing out on.  The hopes and the dreams for our family and for Deaken. 

A friend stated it very well...  She is thankful for something most take for granted, She is thankful for her two healthy girls.  Children are a gift from God.  With all the things that can go wrong while a baby is being made, it is a miracle that people have healthy babies. 

Instead of spending the day grieving by myself.  Jeff and I will be with our families, who are grieving Deaken also and want to be there for us.  I hope you all have a Happy Thanksgiving and hope you all find the simple things in life to please you.  Without Deaken life isn't fair , but I do have so much to be thankful for.