Dear Deaken,
Today would be a day to celebrate if you were here with daddy and me. You would be 5 months old! I wish instead of blogging about how much my heart aches for you, That I was giving family and friends an update about all the things you might be doing. Like how much you enjoy going for a walk on a sunny day or how you love tubby time.
Before you were born daddy would often ask me at any given moment "What would we be doing with the baby right now"? I would look at him, smile and tell him about the little things babies do and some of the things you may enjoy. It hurts so bad thinking I will never know what you would of enjoyed. Daddy and I were so excited to have you home and be a family. It breaks my heart we will never get to do the things we had planned and that I will never get to hold you while here on earth.
I am not mad at you for leaving, I knew your little heart just couldn't take it anymore. It killed me to have to see you like that and there was nothing I could do to protect you. I want you with me more then anything, but feel it would have been selfish of me to keep you here for myself. God has plans for you with him, and a plan for me here. While I am here I am keeping your memory alive. I am very excited about your name being on the Hope 4 Tiny Hearts car, which races this Friday! And looking forward to finishing your story to share with others in a book that will be out next summer. It is all to help raise awareness for CHD. Mommy wants to do what I can to help others so they can have their heart babies longer and take them home to show them how life really is intended.
Deaken you are so special, so many people are still thinking about you everyday. You are leaving your little (or should I say BIG!) footprints on people's hearts. I love you so very much and carry you in my heart, Always and forever.
Love, Mommy
Deaken would be so proud of both of his parents. I am proud to know you.
ReplyDeleteLove and hugs.